Get Back To Glee Club!
by C.C. Nyde
Summary: Get ready to get back to Glee Club with Finn, Puck, Rachel, and Puck's stupid dumb little gay friend, Kurt! *Glee/AVPM crossover* Complete crack!
1. Get Back To Glee!

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. Or AVPM. Hah. That just gave it all away!_

_A/N: WARNING: Crack!fic. This is a Glee/AVPM crossover of sorts. So if you haven't seen that, this won't be nearly as funny. Well, it might be. I don't know how some of you twisted people think. Well, I kinda do because I'm a twisted person, but that's a whole other story. ANYWAY, crack-ness will commence in 5…4…3…2…1! Now's when you go read it. Or not. Whatever you'd like. Reading would be nice. Reviewing would be nice-er. I'm sorry. I'm wasting your time. Just read the fucking story. _

Finn, Puck and Rachel were sitting in the choir room when an impeccably dressed boy stormed in.

"Puck! You were supposed to take me to Macy's to buy that first day of school outfit like your mom told you to!"

"Who's this?" Finn asked, looking at the boy he'd never seen before.

Puckerman shrugged before gesturing to the boy.

"Oh, this is my stupid dumb little gay friend, Kurt. Kurt, this is Finn. Hudson."

"You're Finn Hudson! You're the star quarterback!" Kurt's eyes lit up.

"Yeah, and you're Kurt." Finn awkwardly said.

"Oh, it's Kurt Hummel." He explained.

"I'll just stick with Kurt." Puck rolled his eyes and clapped his hands over Kurt's head while making a jazz hand motion.

"Stupid gay friend, don't crowd the Frankenteen!" Rachel resisted the urge to laugh as Finn, Puck, and Kurt all turned their heads to watch a group of girls walk into the room, a beautiful blonde leading the pack.

"Whoa! Who's that?" Kurt asked, eyes wide.

Finn continued staring with a dreamy look on his face.

"That's a- that's Quinn Fabray." Puck rolled his eyes yet again before declaring to Kurt,

"That's the girl Finn's been _totally _in love with since freshman year."

"Yeah, but he won't say anything to her." Rachel butted in.

"Well yeah, you never tell a girl you like her! It makes you look like an idiot!" Puck argued. Kurt decided to leave the group and approach the blonde girl at the front of the pack.

"Hello, Quinn Fabray, it's good to meet you. My name is Kurt Hummel." He went to kiss her hand, but she pulled away.

"Bitch, I ain't Quinn Fabray! I think." The blonde half-yelled, before turning to a latino girl to see if she was right. The latino nodded in response.

Puck walked over to Kurt and clapped his hands over the smaller boy's head again. Kurt grabbed his ears.

"That's Brittany Pierce! Stupid gay friend!"

Another blonde girl appeared from within the pack.

"Oh that's all right, I'm Quinn Fabray ya'll." Finn sighed.

"Oh. She's perfect."

"Yeah, it's too bad she's dating Sam Evans though." Puck declared. Finn turned to glare at him before exclaiming,

"Who the hell is Sam Evans?" Puck shrugged. Sam had just transferred.

"He's like huge and muscular…" As he spoke, a bleach-blonde haired boy entered the room, arms spread wide.

"Quinn! I am so in love with Quinn! From New York to Berlin! I'll sing my love aloud for Quinn!" Quinn giggled before running out of the room with him.

"Ugh, I hate that guy!" Finn exclaimed.

"Did someone say Jesse St. James?" A tall, curly haired boy entered the room dramacticaly.

Finn made a face before groaning.

"Ugh, Jesse what are you doing here?"

"So Hudson, back for another year at McKinley? Maybe this year you'll wise up and hang out with a higher caliber of glee club member." Jesse waltzed around the room, leading around a couple of soulless automaton Vocal Adrenaline members.

"Lay off Jesse, Puck and Rachel are my best friends in the whole world. I wouldn't trade them for anything."

Jesse scoffed before looking pointedly at Kurt and laughing.

"Have it your way. Wait, don't tell me. Quaffed hair, stylish clothes, and a flawless complexion! You must be a little gay boy!" Puck glared at Jesse, then approached him, pointing a finger at his chest.

"Hey lay off Jesse! He may be a little gay boy, but he's my little gay boy."

"Oh, isn't this cute! It's like a little loser family! McKinley has really gone to the jocks, but luckily next year I'll be in California!" Jesse laughed heartlessly one more time before sitting down on a bench. As he sat, Artie wheeled into the room before exclaiming,

"I think we're ready for- Will Shuester!"

Another curly-haired man entered the room dressed in a high-school musical tee shirt and plaid Bermuda shorts. He smiled.

"Welcome all of you to Glee club! I welcome all of you to Glee! Did you know that here in Glee club, we have a secret jazz band? Oh, welcome welcome welcome glee kids! Welcome Cheerios, handi-capped, and Goths! Now that I've got you here in Glee club, I'd like to go over just a couple of rules! My name is Will Shuester and I am the leader of Glee club. But you can all call me Shue. I s'pose you could also call me Will if you want a detention. Nah, I'm just kidding. I'll expel you if you call me Will!" He proceeded to sit down in a chair near the piano.

The rest of the students in the room proceeded to stand and sing,

"We're in glee club, glee club." Shuester made a face.

"I'm sorry, what's its name?"  
"Glee club, glee club." The kids sang again.

"Look, I didn't hear you teenagers!" Shuester threw his hands in the air.

"Are you fucking deaf?" Santana yelled. Finn ignored her before singing,

"Man I'm glad I joined."

_A/N: Yeah. I don't even know. I was bored. Again. What is it with me and posting random shit nowadays? This whole not-being-in-school-for-three-fucking-days thing is really getting to me. Stupid snow._

_Anyway, tell me if I should do this for any other scenes. It was actually kind of fun. _

_-Max_


	2. Introductions

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or AVPM. _

_A/N: I figured I may as well continue! A few more characters shall be making their appearances in this chapter! YAY!_

_Just letting you know, I can't update like this all the time. I just haven't had like ANY school lately because of snow, so I've had a lot of down-time. Anyway, I'll let ya get on with the story! _

The entire club sat back down as Shuester made his way back to the front of the room.

"Welcome to another musical year in Glee Club! Welcome to my favorite student, Mister Finn Hudson. Beat Jesse in a singing contest when he was just a baby. He's got that little trophy thing to prove it. Another very special welcome to the new addition to glee club, Mrs, excuse me, Mr Kurt Hummel!" He smiled at Kurt, who stood.

"Yeah, I'm a guy. And also, I was supposed to audition." Shuester smirked before explaining,

"Well, a funny thing happened to our judges. They actually got hitched to each other, so they won't be back until next year. Basically, I've just been putting anyone who looks like they can sing into Glee club and telling the rest to fuck off." Sam stood.

"I don't like to fuck off." Shuester turned to face him.

"Who the hell are you?" Sam shrugged sheepishly before returning to his seat. Shuester resumed.

"Anyway, it's time for me to introduce my very good friend and our own guidance counselor, Ms Emma Pillsbury." A petite red-headed woman entered the room, Purell in one hand and a clip-board in the other. Puck rolled his eyes before exclaiming,

"Ugh, not Pillsbury, I thought they fired that chick."

"What's wrong with her?" Kurt asked, confused.

"Ugh, nothing, she just uh has OCD." Puck rudely responded. Finn turned to him before frowning.

"C'mon Puck, she's really not that bad, I don't understand the big deal." He was almost cut off by Ms. Pillsbury yelling at him.

"Finn Hudson! Detention!"

"What? Why?" He cried.

"For talking out of turn. Now, before we begin, I'm going to give you all your very very first MUSICAL QUIZ!" Pillsbury waved her hands in the air dramatically.

"Can anyone tell me what a ballad is?" Rachel waved her hand frantically. Pillsbury pointed at her.

"Any light, simple song. One of sentimental or romantic characters, having two or more stanzas all sung to the same melody." Rachel said, all in one breath before smiling her brightest smile.

"Very good. Now can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is?" Rachel waved her hand yet again. "Yes, Miss Berry."

"Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned early in the story to return later in a significant way." Rachel smiled yet again.

"Perfect." Puck looked up from the carton of Chinese food he was loudly consuming.

"Wait, what was a ballad again, I missed that one." Ms. Pillsbury opened her mouth to answer, but was cut off by Rachel.

"A ballad is a romantic or sentimental song."

Emma nodded.

"And remember, a ballad is usually something like 'My Heart Will Go On.'" Brittany, a ditzy blonde raised her hand.

"Ms Pillsbury, can like, a pop song be a ballad?"

"No, that absurd. Because then if the song were sung by a jock," Emma scowled at Puck pointedly, "He would instantly mess up and loose time. A ballad can be a duet though." Finn raised his hand, looking confused.

"Uh, what's a duet?" Emma laughed.

"I'm not even going to tell you Finn, you'll find out soon enough." Rachel grew impatient. She waved her hand again before bursting out,

"Counselor, what is the point of this quiz?"

"Oh no point in particular. Just important information that everyone should know. Especially you." Emma pointed out at the jazz band.  
"Now moving right along. There are four cliques in this class; Finn Hudson and his friends, Quinn Fabray and her friends, Sam Evans and his friends, and Jesse St. James and his fellow douchnozzles." Each group cheered for their own names, and all booed for Jesse's.

"Traditionally, solos are given for good talent, for example, no solos for Finn's group." Finn's friends all looked up frantically at once.

"What, why?" Finn demanded.

"For Berry's loud mouth."

Finn and Puck looked at eachother for a moment before turning to Rachel.

"Thanks Rachel."

"Traditionally, the group with the most talent will win the solo for Sectionals, however this year we're going to be doing things a little differently. Pay attention to the new man in charge this year- Principal Figgins!" A man in a large cloak and turban entered the room. He looked to have a hump on his back, and he had four feet. Who the hell is this?

_A/N: I know this one is shorter, but I'm saving the next scene for next chapter. Hope ya don't mind!_

_I want Blaine to make a cameo in this story, but I don't know how to figure him in. Any ideas? Drop me a line. Or leave a review. Whatever flies your broomstick. (See what I did there?) _

_-Max_


	3. The Solo Cup!

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor Starkid Potter's A Very Potter Musical._

_A/N: It's Solo Cup time! Yay!_

_I would also like to apologize if this is hard to follow. I always type all the dialogue and then the transitions, so it's a little weird. I hope it doesn't annoy anyone too bad! I would also like to thank EVERYONE who reviewed, favorited, or alerted this, you guys are TOTALLY AWESOME! Even the invisible-readers out there! _

*!*

Figgins walked around the room, all four of his feet shuffling awkwardly. His voice was shaky as he began,

"The Solo Cup, a time honored tradition. For centuries-" Jesse cut him off.

"Go home terrorist!" Jesse then proceeded to look around him for whoever said that before shrugging. Figgins swallowed and started over.

"For centuries, the four cliques of glee club have competed for the honor and glory of holding the title for soloist. But where does this competition come from, and what are the roots of the tradition?" Rachel burst out,

"The Solo Cup began with the first generation of glee club students." Figgins looked at her in shock for a second before exclaiming,

"That was a rhetorical question." Shuester rolled his eyes and stood.

"Berry, quit interrupting, ten points from Finn's clique." Finn groaned and Puck looked up from his feast to yell,

"Thanks Rachel." Figgins swallowed audibly again before shakily resuming,

"As I was saying, when the tournament first originated, it was one of a completely different sort. One champion from each of the four cliques was to perform a series of dangerous songs. The winner would not also win the solo, but eternal glory."

"Kind of like a, a Tri-Singer competition!" Rachel cried.

"Yes, sort of like the Tri-Singer tournament." Figgins nodded before turning back to Rachel, frowing. "Except, no, not like that at all. There are four cliques. How can it be the _Tri-_Singer tournament with four groups?" Rachel scoffed.

"Well Principal, if I remember correctly, the Solo Cup was disbanded after one semester when one of its students was killed during the first musical number."

"Yes, it is very dangerous, but the rewards far outweigh the risks." Figgins frowned.

"I don't think you heard me! I just said someone died!" Rachel yelled.

Shue stood from his chair again,

"Rachel Berry shut your ungodly lopsided mouth and quit interrupting! Twenty more points." This time both Finn and Puck sarcastically yelled at Rachel.

"Ugh, thanks Rachel!"

"God, for the best singer your age you can really be a dumbass sometimes. Ooh, ten points for Shuester!" He smiled and sat back down at the piano.

"Yes, yes, well it will be very dangerous, but the winner will be remembered as a hero for ages to come. And as the Principal, I believe that this practical Solo competition is just what the club needs to-" Suddenly, he stopped talking.

"Ah-choo!" Shuester walked over by Figgins.

"Did your turban just sneeze?"

Figgins looked taken-aback. "Wha-what? No…"

"I could have sworn I heard a sneeze coming from your direction but your mouth wasn't moving." Shuester pointed in his face.

"No, no! That was simply… a fart. Excuse me." Figgins started backing out of the room, passing Finn. Finn grabbed his knee in pain.

"Oh ouch, oww, what the heck?"

Figgin's eyes widened.

"I must be going."

"Achoo!" Another sneeze.

"I simply farted once more." Figgins declared before running out of the room. Shuester regained his composure and gestured to Miss Pillsbury as she entered with a large hat, with a bunch of little slips of paper in it.

"In ordinace with the new Solo Cup, four competitors from each clique will be selected to compete. So Emma, would you do us the honors please?"

Emma nodded. "Yes, glee leader."

"First, from the Cheeleader clique- A Miss Quinn Fabray!" Quinn stood quickly.

"Oh mah gawd, I won! Can you believe that ya'll?" She did a little head-bob before returning to her seat.

"Next from the Jocks, Mister Sam Evans!" The blond boy stood.

"Well I don't find this surprising at all!" Quinn clapped before placing a hand over her heart dramatically.

"Great. Now I can spend some more time with my beloved boyfriend!"

Sam placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm glad as well my darling."

"A next, from the Douchebag clique- Jesse St. James!" Jesse screamed. He stood from his chair and walked over to Finn's. He yelled at Finn while sliding across his lap.

"HA! I finally beat you, didn't I Hudson? What you think about that, huh? I'm a champion this time!" Finn frowned before pushing him on the ground.

"Jesse, would ya sit down you little shit! Champion's just a title!" Shue yelled at him while Jesse adjusted his sweater and stalked back to his seat.

Emma continued. "And finally, from the Outcast clique- oh my." She took a look at the paper and laughing maniacally. "Well isn't this glorious? The four people who lead the packs of their cliques are suddenly in a competition where they most very well lose their lives." Artie raised his hands.

"If it's me, I should probably thank my fellow Outcasts for everything."

"Sit down, oh wait. Nevermind. Stay sitting, you crippled loser. It's Finn Hudson!" Emma yelled. The entire Outcast group burst into applause.

Shuester clasped his hands together. "Well here they are folks, the four Glee Club Champions! I want all of you to start preparing immediately because the first song is in two days! And it could be anything. So let's get to it!" The bell rang and the Glee kids all started leaving. The Cheerleaders started chanting Quinn's name.

"Quinn! Quinn!"

Jesse clapped before beginning to chant his own name. "Jesse! Jesse! Hey, why isn't anyone else cheering?"

*!*

_A/N: Ta-da! The third chapter! The next will delve into the beginning of the competition, so stay tuned! _

_I also have found a part for Blaine! YES! A special thanks to GamesThatTheyPlay for the Figgins/Mystery Voldemort idea! You'll find out who it is soon! MUAHA!_

_-Max_

_P.S. Anyone else see the leaked 'When I Get You Alone' video? I'm pissed. BUTTT… Darren is supermegafoxyawesomehot anyway. _


	4. How Finn and Puck Met Rachel

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or AVPM. _

_A/N: I AM SO SORRY! I just… got distracted with other stories. I hope you don't hate me! :(_

_Okay, when I started this story I didn't realize how fucking long it would take to write the ENTIRE musical, so I'm just going to do my favorite parts from both the first one and the sequel. I'll also take suggestions! I apologize if you were reading this because I was doing the whole thing… SORRY! I still hope you continue reading though!_

_

* * *

_

**How Finn and Puck Met Rachel**

Finn Hudson climbs onto the bus anxiously. He sets his backpack down onto a seat near the middle, avoiding all the other kids. He notices a man sprawled out over the seat in front of him using a newspaper as a makeshift blanket.

He leans over, sniffs the man, frowns, and sits back into his seat. He notices his new best friend making his way down the aisle of the bus, glaring at kids as he went. He smiled when he reached Finn and plopped down next to him.

"Hey, what's up there, buddy?" Puck asks, setting down his backpack.

"Hey Puck." Finn responds as Puck points at the sleeping man.

"Who's this guy?" Finn shrugs, shaking his head.

"I don't know, he was here when I got here. He's sleeping and I think he's homeless." Puck makes a disgusted face.

"Gross." He adjusts his backpack and moves closer to Finn. "Anyway, we kinda got separated at the bus stop and you forgot this." He holds up a blue sweatband that Finn had been using to cover his hair.

"Y'know, everyone seems to like my bad haircut. Why don't you keep it?" Puck looks at him in disbelief."

"Really? Wow." He puts it on over his Mohawk, grinning into the air.

"It looks good." Finn comments, and Puck nods.

"It does. Damn it, now I wanna give you something." He reaches into his backpack and digs around.

"No, that's okay." Finn assures, but Puck ignores him.

"Seriously." He keeps digging for a while, a serious look on his face. He smiles and begins to pull something out of the bag. "Oh, do you want a rat?"

Finn screams and backs against the window, avoiding the hairy creature. Puck screams too, but then stops himself.

"It's my rat." He tells Finn, and the tall teenager relaxes.

"Oh, your rat. Hi!" He begins to pet the brown rat, and Puck places it on his shoulder.

"Her name is Mrs. Shuester and she's been in my family for like, a hundred years. In fact, I think my parents found him the same night your parents were killed in that mysterious cheerleading accident."

"Weird." Finn responds.

"I know, weird right?" Puck digs into his pocket and pulls out a small box. "Hey, you want a Bertie Botts every flavor candy bean?"

"What the hell is that?"

"Just try one. They have every flavor in the entire world. They even have a poopy-flavored one, but it's so rare you'll never be lucky enough to get it though. What did you get?" Finn grimaces, looking back at Puck.

"Broken computer." He says with a questioning tone. Puck nods sympathetically.

"I can't even remember the last time I got a candy flavored one." He pops a bean into his mouth, and frowns.

"What'd you get?"

"Defeat." He looks longingly out the aisle, and Finn moves to see what he was looking at. "Well I give up on these." He shoves the bag of candy back into his pocket, a deep frown on his lips.

"Hey!" Puck exclaims suddenly. "How about we wash these beans down with some of the greatest snacks in the entire world?"

"Redvines!" Both boys exclaim, posing with goofy smiles on their faces. Puck reaches into his backpack again.

"Hold on, I got 'em right here." He pulls his hand out, a giant cat attached to it. Both Finn and Puck scream, trying to shake the orange cat off of Puck's hand. A small, frizzy brown haired girl runs onto the bus, stopping in front of the struggling boys. She grabs the cat off of Puck's arm, trying to sooth it by petting its matted fur.

Puck yanks his hand back, soothing the claw marks.

"Sorry," The girl cries. "Sometimes he just crawls into the darnedest places!"

"It's okay," Puck begins. "Just next time OHMYGODSLUSHYFACE!" He screams as he looks at the girl. She looks offended, cradling the cat to her chest.

"I'm not a Slushy Face," She defends. "I'm a little girl. My name's Rachel Berry." She holds out her hand, but Ron ignores it. "Oh my lord, you're Finn Hudson."

"Oh yeah, weird, right?" Finn smiles goofily, throwing a hand over Puck's shoulder. Rachel's jaw drops.

"Oh, I'm such a big fan! Say, would you sign my petition?" She holds out a clipboard.

"Um, sure." Finn responds, but Puck interrupts.

"No, No. He doesn't want to." He smacks the board, making it clatter to the ground. The short girl bends over and retrieves it.

"Um, I'm collecting signatures for getting rid of the slushy machine in the cafeteria. You see, I just think it's awful that in the high school world someone would throw slushies on another person just because they're different and they were born as sickly little people with big dumb noses and loud mouths. And we, I mean, they are just as good as anybody. Not to mention, the world just isn't made for those little nerds." She moves to sit next to Finn, putting her face right next to his. "Did you know that over 600 losers die in dumpster-related incidents every year?" Finn holds up a hand, shushing the rambling girl.

"Um, stop talking. I'll sign it, just don't send me any emails." She shakes her head.

"Oh no, I won't. Thanks, Finn." He puts the pen onto the paper, reading the petition over.

"There you go." He signs it with a flourish, squinting his eyes to look at the paper. "Hey are we the first people you've asked 'cause there's only one other name on here?" He asks Rachel, and she nods.

"That is my name." Rachel points to it.

"Oh! Well then, here you go, Ray-cha-nel." He sounds it out, and she frowns. She sits down next to him,

"Wow!" "So, Finn Hudson, did you really not grow up around singers or actors?" He nods, leaning into Ron.

"Yeah, I found out I was talented like two minutes ago." He shrugs, making a face of confusion.

"Yeah, I grew up around talent-less people too. My dads are really bad singers." She reminisces, before turning back to Puck and Finn. "And I'm ever so excited to be going to McKinley!" Puck snorts.

"Yeah, that's because McKinley is the best place in the entire world." He informs with a bored tone.

"Well, yeah. And to be taught by William Shuester." She looks off into the distance dramatically again.

"Who the hell is William Shuester?" Finn asks, looking back and forth between the two teenagers. They look shocked, holding hands to their mouths.

"He's only the bestest, most bravest." Puck begins, and Rachel jumps in.

"Most talented, most hair-product-using," She gestures to her own hair, nodding frantically.

"Beautiful!" Puck interjects, nodding.

"Beautiful choir instructor who has ever lived. And my dream of dreams is to someday is to get a solo for Nationals, making me the top of the glee club." Rachel smiles again, another blinding show of pearly-white teeth. The kids grow silent, look out the windows.

"BUS PASS?" A voice booms from the aisle, holding out a knife.

* * *

_A/N: So, I know I'm a little rusty, but I got a bunch of people asking when the hell I was ever going to add on to this. SO… TA-DA! Here you go! _

_Tell me what other scenes I should do, please!_

_BTW, you have no idea how many times I wrote 'Harry', 'Ron', and 'Hermione'. Crazy! I had to go back and fix it like, seven times!_

_Lessthanthree, _

_Max_


End file.
